"When the Lead Breaks" by Clara Wilson

To write, or not to write

My passion is a flighty whim,

To speak, or not to speak

My words sometimes forsake me...

To feel, or not to feel

My soul is at capacity,

I have put pen to paper

Until the ink runs dry,

On to my weapon of choice

And then the lead breaks...

So I scream loud unto an empty room

"Why do I have to be the strong one?!"

I can weep before the blind,

I can scream before the deaf,

And I can hide within my shadow...

I can curse the darkness,

And I can damn the light,

for neither give me freedom...

I have been the pages in a book,

Turned only to meet the end...

I have crawled into a picture frame,

To be admired then left to hang...

Forced not to speak with a swiftfull gesture

Of a hand pressed to my lips...

Silenced for less than a spoken word,

It can be easily read in my eyes...

And I can loose my way and my release

If when pressed to hard the lead breaks...

"I started writing when I was about 11. Over the years I have written poems, short stories and anything that I was feeling at any given time. I kept journals, notebooks, scratch paper and most currently files on my computer. I always had a desire to do more with my writings. I wanted to share my experiences with people in a way that was just more than words on paper. What a gift I have been given, with photography, as a means of making this happen in a medium that I feel I can truly express all that I have written throughout my life! 

I know that all may not understand my words. Having the ability to put images with my writings and complete a story has given me a sense of completion with every series I have done. It is very emotional for me, but it is welcomed emotion. I love to feel...anger, sadness, joy! Stuffing everything inside and letting it grow into a wall of bitter separation between me and the life I want to live. I feel like I have found my release, my way of processing and exposing myself for those that care to know.

I dream of doing this for other people too, helping them express through written word and imagery their life experiences that have made them who they are today. Everyone wants to be seen and be heard. There is no better feeling than to have others say, " I know what that feels like, I have been there too, you are not alone".

I used to wish I had found a way sooner, as I was approaching my middle aged years, but I realize now that this is my time...this was the right time for me. We all have a voice that yearns to be heard. That is what this series and story is about. Being told to be quiet, being told to keep it in...being told that to show emotions is a sign of weakness. A story of secret self expression because nobody wants to hear your voice.

I have finally found mine and what a sense of relief it has brought to me. I wish for others to find theirs as well..."
~~Clara~~