I was invited to show my work at the RAW Artists event in Seattle this last Thursday. It was quite the production to get everything printed and ready. Gathering all my items to put my display together, which turned out fantastic if I do say so myself. I traveled with a group of friends. We planned the trip to stay an extra day, Friday, to walk the town and take photographs.
Before I get to far ahead of myself I want to talk about the night of the show, not what was taking place inside the venue, but outside. I went outside to have a smoke a few times and was instantly approached by someone asking if he could beat box for me. He didn't ask for money, he just asked for my name. I told him my name and he preceded to create a beat and rhythm with unique sounds, and he was very good. When he was done I said, "Hey man, that's pretty cool." He replied with, "Yeah, I know, that will be 5 bucks." He held out his hand expecting me to hand over cash. I was taken aback and told him I didn't carry cash and offered him a cigarette instead. He took the cigarette, not very graciously though, and mumbled something about me being a lieing bitch under his breath as he strutted down the street. My instant thought was what an ass!
About an hour later i came out again for another smoke, yup i smoke. There was a man standing outside holding a sign. Now i am from the Spokane area so I am used to panhandlers and the people standing on corners holding their signs. I have seen many signs over the years.
~Will work for Food
~Lost my job, need bill money
~Wife pregnant, need diaper money
~Homeless Vet, any help appreciated
The guy standing outside the venue this time had a sign i had never seen before. I walked around the corner to light my cigarette and held my camera up to snap a shot of him.
I watched him for a minute while he staked his claim on the block by chasing away another man who showed up holding a plastic cup. I heard him telling the other man that he better keep on walking. I wondered if they all knew each other? Do they fight for the same blocks night after night? I asked him what he was hoping to get out of holding a sign like that. He didn't answer back. Don't let his smile fool ya, the guy was an ass too! I watched him get told over and over again to stand back from the entrance and exits of the venue because he was very "In your face" to the people coming and going from the event.
Now don't get me wrong, I have met and encountered many jackasses in my time (remember I was married before), but none holding a sign like this expecting to get a handout. I will admit that I have lived a pretty sheltered small town life, but it blows my mind to think that this works. Does holding a sign like this work? Do people really give him money?
I saw this same guy the next day sitting at a corner near Pike's Place, holding the same sign. When we came up on the corner waiting for the street signals to change I asked him how his sign was working out for him and if I could take his picture. He said I could take his picture for 5 bucks, and now he needs money to feed his fat bitch! I concluded that I was over this guy and he was, in fact, just a jackass!
I really try to practice not being judgmental. I don't know everyone's story. I have given money to many people in Spokane who stand on the corners with their signs. I don't always carry cash, but if I have it and the spirit moves me, I will give it away. In this day and age many people are just one missed mortgage payment away from being homeless.
While walking around that day and seeing all the homeless, beggars and panhandlers I couldn't help but wonder what theirs lives were like when they were kids. Did they have a loving family and a home? Did they go to school and have friends and play? Were they wards of the State who never got a fair shake? I don't know. We just don't know. What I do know, is that regardless of circumstance, we are responsible for our behavior and how we interact with people.
I saw many homeless people in Seattle that struck a chord in my heart. I could see their struggles in their eyes. I didn't see much anger, but I saw people who were alone. That feeling of being utterly alone in this world is one that I know all to well. You can be surrounded by hundreds of people and still feel alone. That is the part that makes me sad. That is what makes me open my purse and reach for a five. Not because I think giving them a little cash will change their situation, but because I can have that brief moment to look in their eyes and hopefully they can see in my eyes that I care. I can see that in people just as I can see it in myself.
One lady came up to me, she was holding a sign that said she was deaf. We didn't speak any words but with a gesture of her hand I could tell she wanted a cigarette. I saw in her eyes that she was one of the ones that was alone, and lonely. I gave her a cigarette and she placed her hand on my arm as a gesture of thanks. We looked into each others eyes and we smiled. That is the difference, that is the humanity that I can feel. That is a human encounter, with touch, that means something. I didn't take her photograph, she will be engraved in my mind as a memory of a smile and a kind gesture.
We came across an area at a local park where we could tell people slept there and it was a place to go. Empty beer cans and food wrappers on the ground. This was an old gasworks plant or something and there were very large pipes running through the building. Some had water pooled up around and underneath the piping. It was cold and damp. I stopped to take a photograph and noticed something underneath one of the piping structures. I crouched down on the ground and saw an old sleeping bag and two small bowls hidden underneath. I could tell this was someones "spot". I pulled my camera around to take a picture and a little dog came running into the frame. He ran towards one of the bowls and drank what little water was left in it then took off running again. The sleeping bag was laying there with an impression of an adult who had recently gotten up. I could tell it had been slept in. I didn't want to be seen taking the picture so I snapped off a few shots then got up and left. I thought to myself, at least whoever the person was isn't alone, they have man's best friend to keep them company.
We walked for a few hours. I took in the tall buildings and the rush of people having places to go and things to do. It seemed most of the local people had grown accustomed to panhandlers on the corners. They walk by, avoid eye contact and wave them off when approached. I looked at all of them, wondering what their story was. When was their last good meal? When was the last time they had a new pair of shoes? When was the last time someone told them they loved them or hugged them. Some were young men and women, maybe teenagers. You could see bodies huddled under coats or blankets. I couldn't even tell if they were adults or children at times. Or if they were alive or dead, huddled in an alley waiting to be found by someone who cared enough to stop and see if they were ok.
I expected to spend the day in Seattle sight seeing and getting some fun street photography, instead this is where my spirit took me. I don't know when I will get back to Seattle again, but as my friend Cassie and I discussed, if they only took credit cards it would make it much easier to give to the ones who looked me in the eyes and told me their stories with a gentle smile....
In reference to the sign at the top of my blog I am curious. Are they wanting to give their people away? Are they stating that they have freedom? Is it a unity of community? I don't know what the sign means, but it seemed like a good opening to my Blog post, so I used it....
What do you think it means?
~~Clara Wilson
